Opposite poles attract. *

2009-02-14T20:15:00.000-08:00

"They say bad things happen for a reason"

The Script - Break Even (Sent by Tri)

Relationships are just like the mirror. Somehow, it reflects one's sincerity, concern and love. It replicas what it sees. Don't ask what you will receieve, but what you can give.
A simple conversation conveys a lot. The heart. The willingness to be concern for your friend.
It is visible and will always be appreciated.

2009-02-03T07:42:00.000-08:00

This week has been a hectic one.
Busy like a bee.

Till then.

2009-01-24T09:14:00.001-08:00

It gets better by the day. (:

2009-01-23T05:50:00.001-08:00

I'd always believed that opportunities are everywhere. Just like opened arms, they are inviting & welcoming. Yet, I feared for the worst. Unable to walk into the arms of an opportunity and stride out with pride. 2+ months to go. MP. It definitely will be a tough ride. Being able to come out with a workable TWT. An unconvincing task, maybe. Willpower.. willpower.

P/s : It has always been my dream to make it there*

2009-01-20T05:43:00.000-08:00

An entry to start with..

Two cutesy pictures of Si Yuan.
They took my hp and capture 2 Pics of him. No idea why did they do that. Anw, it looks hilarious.

Loading.....

& this!

Ciaos*. Needa rush my work. =\

2009-01-19T07:33:00.001-08:00

Happy 20th Birthday Jess! :)

We had celebrated her birthday at Fish&Co. It's just a mini surprise cum gathering, that tri came up with. The birthday girl, teared when she saw her suprise's appearance. I deemed that it was tears of joy. :) 20. In the wise words of tri; too old.
Literally, I feel that as we've aged.. we tend to grow out of certain things. It's a sum of pros and cons.
It depends on how we balance the priorities. Just like a grocery's checklist. On hand, everyone has a different one.
No one has the authority to alter any checkpoints on someones list. Bringing up a missed out point, maybe. However, the last decsion lies with the one who's holding the pen.

Checkpt:
Resigned to the ugly truth, and prepare for next.

Till the next entry*

2009-01-17T08:30:00.000-08:00

CNY is just around the corner. As follows, we've to get new clothes for the festive season. Jess and I headed to town to do our shopping. I'd managed to get myself a pair of flats and a white blouse, whereas she has gotten herself a bag. To be honest, I never liked shopping. My feet has never failed to die on me, when I'm halfway through shopping. That applies to my momentum on shopping too..

2009-01-08T06:42:00.000-08:00

Look, how time flies. It's the second week of Jan'09.

I should stick to my resolution and stop binging. I'm positive that my intake of calories are more than what i burn off. My favs never fail to make me lose my self-discipline. Oh well, time to jog extra rounds! (:

Sch has been bustling with people & noises. The set-ups of booths and students clad in diff colour t-shirt representing their respective school. Pamphlets/Course consultations and guides chorusing. Propaganda. Oookay, I'm just joking abt that. :D
I'd always wanted to get involved in events like this. Alas, my enthusiasm dies easily.
Perhaps, the next time around..

We'll see... (:

One pic to end the entry..
Ciaos!

2009-01-01T06:14:00.000-08:00

'08 has been a relatively smooth year for me.
Likewise, I hope that '09 will be fulfilling and better year.

alright peeps*

Lets welcome and embrace 2009!

31st of dec has been celebrated with laughter, honesty and lots of fun.
Just with the gfs, not any wild party or anything extravagant. I like it better that way.
We penned down all our resolutions and passed it in a circle. I'm all excited to write mine down but realised that I've got nothing new on my list.
I should come up with something new to add to my old list. I should..

Anw,
Gfs, let us stick to our resolutions and make it happen~
Ciaos.. Till the next entry! :D

2008-12-30T06:51:00.000-08:00

30th of dec 08.

The second last day of the year.

Looking back, just like any other year.. '08 is filled with ups and downs.
I've lost, I've gain.

To be continued...

2008-12-27T21:40:00.000-08:00

2009 is just a few days away.
2008 is coming to an end, faster then i anticipated.

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Xmas celebration at Ryl's place was great! Our steamboat session is made possible by Ryl's mum. Greatly appreciated aunty. (: This year's Xmas is kinda different from the usual. We watched gory movies for a change. Namely, Rec and Prom Night.

Rec is seriously a bloody and heart-wrenching film. The last scene of the movie crept me out the most, the ghoul figure of the alleged possessed girl. One word - creepy. I had trouble sleeping that night, with that creepy image in my head.

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I simply can't wait for 31st to arrive! Countdown with the girls. I'm sure we'll have a blast (;
Goodbye 08, Hello 09 ~

2008-12-19T08:36:00.000-08:00

It's like a mirror, which reflects what it sees.

I'm just a victim, doing exactly what he did to me to you.
Forgive me.

2008-12-12T08:37:00.000-08:00

I reckon that emotions are hard to comprehend, to get hold of.
The grey matter seems to be overwritten every night.
Literally, every morning I feel differently about the same issue. I can be a strong believer of a certain issue, but become a disbeliever another day.

I think i'm just a confused kid.

2008-11-28T04:53:00.000-08:00

It seems well planned, like a plot.
You said that being too naive & dumb, would be my graveyard. I guess you've proven your theory, cause it makes sense now.
I wished that i was wrong, but somehow it fits in perfectly with the loopholes.

I'm the obvious cause of the changes.
-------------------------------------------
Taylor Swift - Forever and Always lyrics.

Thought I knew you for a minute, now I'm not so sure
So here's everything coming down to nothing
Here's to silence that cuts me to the core
Where is this going? Thought I knew for a minute, but I don't anymore

2008-11-23T04:15:00.000-08:00

I tried my best not to talk abt it, because when i do.. it feels as if it's happening for
the second time.

2008-11-22T22:32:00.000-08:00

An overdue picture with my cousin! Anw, we finally met up. (;
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On another note, I can't wait for dec to arrive! A small xmas gathering and countdown session w my gfs. Uh huh. Nothing grand but something worth looking forward to. It's the company that matters, not anything else. Alas, before the party begins.. i've an upcoming term test week to go thru. :(

To be continued..

2008-10-21T06:15:00.000-07:00

Saturday's trip to sentosa was a fruitful one. Alas, 2 person werent there to complete the class gathering.
I'd managed to get a lil sun kissed at the end of the day. Sentosa's beach is really an excellent place to hang out. I love everything thr, except for the heat that burned my bare feet that very afternoon. Volleyball was great, my very first attempt.

School had started 1 day ago. Now, that our class is literally split into two.. I miss the rest. Likewise, the hustle and bustle had been reduced by half.

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To be continued...

2008-10-09T23:28:00.001-07:00

That was a spectacular view.

2008-09-02T07:41:00.000-07:00

I, myself have no idea why am i giving up my holiday's enjoyment to slog? Alryt, perhaps money is the main reason. I guess i've learn to earn money in the hard way. Strangely, when one starts working.. every penny counts.
Currently, I'm working at Nokia care (causeway pt outlet). I would say, it's an eye opener as i get to see people with different attitudes.

However, the first day of work was hectic, real busy. 2 of the customers got tired of waiting for too long, made a commotion.. yelled and scolded vulgarities. Imagine, that was my first day!
I went wide-eyed when my colleagues told me this kind of scenario is normal. Now, I'm starting to wonder what's abnormal then?

I think working in the customer service line is abt:
Enduring.
Playing dumb.
Playing deaf.
& Smile at all times.

Whatever it is, I cant wait to catch a movie and chill abit!
Though, i'm not sure when will that be..
Gtg,
Ciaos*

2008-08-22T05:55:00.000-07:00

Everyone has expectations. Irregardless, if it's subconsciously or not. I do too. Sometimes, i have no idea why would i expect something that cant be done. I would say, it's uncontrollable.
I reckon it's some tiny voice at the back of my mind, expecting it to be fulfil. I hate it, i actually do.

Likewise, higher expectations lead to greater disappointments.
I used to have this perception that things are clear cut. Alas, it's not..
I think that life isn't that complicated, our emotions are. Dealing with oneself, the inner voice needs lots of discipline and courage. Perhaps, that's what i lacked.

On a lighter note, i went to the salon last week and got my hair snipped. Now, it's way shorter than my previous haircut. A fresher look i think.

2008-07-25T19:57:00.000-07:00

***
Just a week ago, i tried out a new sport -squash. Tri & i had been talking tt we should play squash someday. It was merely a thought until it became true last week. Our virgin attempt.
It was tiring but fun. (: Wellwell, i do hope that we've time for the next squash session!!

Dates on my calender:
(30th) 1,2,3,4 days more to my 19th birthday~
I always believe it's not about the presents that marks it special or not. It's about the company whom is willing to celebrate with me.
It will probably end my birthday in an undefined way. (:

(22thaug)
My first exam paper of this sem will be on this very day. Gosh.. it's just a month away.
Gotta work hard and then enjoy the rest of holis.
Cant wait! :D

Lyrics from Krystal meyers - Make some noise
" Get ready cus you like it loud, cause we were born to make some noise"
She rocks man~ She's pretty, young yet a lot to convey thru her music.

2008-07-15T22:55:00.000-07:00

I found this questionnarie on cheryl's blog and decided to attempt it. :D

#1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
Find out why, cry and then try to move on after that.

#2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
Someone who can excel in life.

#3. What will your dream wedding to be like?
A church.

#4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
Somehow yes.

#5. What's your ideal lover like?
Tall. Nice personality and someone whom i can talk to about anything under e sun.

#6. What is more blessed? Loving someone or being loved by someone?
Being loved by someone.

#7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
It all depends.

#8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Try my best to accept the fact and not to get bothered by it.

#9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
Stress.

#10. What's your interest?
To explore. Music.

#11. How do you see yourself in 10 years time?
Perhaps married and working.

#12. Who are currently the most important people to you?
Family & friends.

#14. Would you rather be rich and single or married but poor?
It depends who my future partner is.

#15. What's the first thing you do every morning?
Drag myself to school.

#16. What's the thing you do before you sleep?
Think a bit.

#17. Would you give all in a relationship?
Think so.

#18. If you fall in love with 2 people simultaneously, who would you pick?
I will choose none.

#19. What type of friends do you like?
Friends who are sincere.

#20. What type of friends you dont like?
Friends who arent sincere.

I shall continue the rest of my post when i've the time. Cya! :))

2008-06-28T01:26:00.000-07:00

I want leona lewis's album! (:

2008-06-18T08:57:00.000-07:00

I love the privacy and quietness i've right now, this very moment.
Just the music playing in the background, myself and the com screen.

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At times, i like to blank out and stare into space. It makes one feel serene, as if the soul has been detached from the body. D said that i shouldn't blank out too much, as my IQ will eventually decreases. Is his words reliable? Haha. Idk.
Speaking of that, i've a small experience to share.
As we all know, yawning is contagious alright. However, i've no idea that yawns can be transmitted and passed through to the other party thru the phone. No kidding.. (:

Back to what i wana blog today..
Watched 'no one mess with zohan'.. i would say that it's a 'must watch' comedy film.
Starring adam sandler.. and he is the movie producer too..
Amusingly, there are scenes whereby he moves his lower part of his body to depict his
emotions.. I find it kinda weird in the first place, but got used to it as it has quite a few
scenes.. as it seems to give me his uniqueness gesture in the movie.

So... be sure to catch it! (:

2008-06-15T07:22:00.000-07:00

It takes sometime to get someone off your mind.. Well.. maybe not today.. perhaps tomorrow.
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2008-06-05T19:07:00.000-07:00

Gosh. I'm sure a blogger idiot.. I've spent quite some time on the blog template itself.
Trying to figure out how to put the cbox tagboard up on my blog. Screw that. Haha..
Term test are finally over and for that.. we're entitled to 2 weeks of freedom!
Hmm.. but.. on second thoughts, i've a num of projs on hand to be completed.
Well i guess i just have to make full use of it and do what's required first.

-------------------------------------------------
I call it displeasure.

To be continueeed......

2008-05-09T10:01:00.000-07:00

Just a few days back, i had a string of thoughts to actually blog. Alas, my thoughts seemed to disappear whenever i face the com.
I guess tt time is needed to revive what i wana blog.

Sometimes, it's good to be apathetic towards certain issues. Esp, in situations whereby you're a victim gunned with no choices. Situations like - not a want to, but a have to. Fact vs impudence.
Being impudent doesn't bring me anywhere.. whereas it will only inflict misery.
.

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School's fine. It's isnt as bad as I'd pictured it. Time flies faster than i thought, like a blink of an eye. Better this way. (:

Things change. Facts remain. Memories fade. Passion dies.. What's next?

2008-04-17T10:10:00.000-07:00

Some things just set me wondering..
My uncertainty and perhaps a little resentment.
A decision i've made 1 year ago. Yeah, i would say that it concerns my future; my course.

...........................

2008-04-08T01:41:00.000-07:00

I didnt wana fall in love with you
I didnt wana know the things that i knew
It wasn't till i looked into the mirror
Denial.

2008-04-06T09:18:00.000-07:00

"Catching butterflies aren't as real as it feels in my stomach whenever i look at you."

2008-04-04T08:53:00.000-07:00

I like every note produced by the individual string from the guitar. With that few simple chords, it can be composed into a melody. A song is strummed & complemented with a voice.
Sometimes, i do wonder.. do we tear over the empowering voice of that singer or because somehow we can relay to the lyrics?

Reality is harsh & at times i really loathe it.
But lets just walk with one another & make it thru this dark alley. The darkest memories of your life.

2008-04-02T07:42:00.000-07:00

My tag board is up. Click on made-believe to tag.
I'll put up the links asap. :D till then~

2008-04-01T07:13:00.000-07:00

Cheryl's chihwahwa (xiao yu) is supper duper adorable. She's really active & keeps running to me.
Okok, maybe it's the other round. :D
Oh ya, & i tried wearing heels out yesterday.
Went to ms with ryl and then her place to play with xiao yu. Loves. Haha and we went gaga over the hunks on tv.

Jogging is a very good way to de-stress. I feel a lot better aft a jog.

Ps: I miss you trina! you better text me when u're back :D

2008-03-31T07:31:00.000-07:00

It feels sore, because all you can do is sit back and watch.
I reckon that, i'm not in right position to even display signs of helplessness.
The ugly truth always hurts. Despite, great efforts to mask it.. it always backfired.
How i wish that i could alter things to how they used to be.
Because if i could, i would.

2008-03-22T09:22:00.000-07:00

A heart to heart talk revealed what's concealed beneath.

I miss those memorable days we had in secondary school. The laughters, the mundane routine, lunch breaks.. they were the best. Flashbacks keep running thru my mind, i guess it happens all the time when one grows older. At times, i wish that time would come to a standstill.

2008-03-20T09:50:00.000-07:00

A message - plainly just words.
Which i took from the dictionary, relatively easy to understand.
But when words are formed into one sentence, a message. It's gets so complicated, that even with the simplest words we cant really convey what we want to.
What is understood from the message conveyed? I really dont know, or rather should i say if the party gets it.
What's the point of expressing your concern when it gets override again & again?

2008-03-10T08:35:00.000-07:00

I love the quietness tonight.
I dont feel like saying a single thing, i guess i'm just tired for now.

2008-03-04T07:46:00.001-08:00

I wonder how does it feels like to be in a hot air balloon.
Does it feels like you're at the top of the world?

Exams are finally over.
Mugging days are over, at least for 2mths.

I really admire her for her bravery.
Cause that's what all of us need.

2008-02-22T08:22:00.000-08:00

It's kinda late to post this but.. V day celebration was fantastic.
It's not the usual candlelight dinner or anything romantic.. 14th feb was spent with a bunch of gd frens by the park.

I confronted my fear of heights when i made it to the mid-top of the tangled web. We took pictures while we stood on the unbalanced rope. Pictures loading.... waiting for D to upload them.
I bet he would take years to do it. =/

It matters, but what's the point?

Update someday aft my exams~

2008-02-06T06:43:00.000-08:00

Ookay, Backstreetboys - More than that has been resounding in my head. It's a old song, but who cares? :D Their signature gestures, expressive faces & mesmerizing vocals..

6th of feb marks cny eve, speaking of which.. it's not much of a significant to me.
Since young, i always see cny celebration as a hassle.. but it's our chinese custom so.. yup.. (:
1 day down, 2 more days to be occupied with cny visitations.

Oh ya, & i forgot to mention tt in my opinion, Popeye's chicken is better than kfc's. The gathering at changi airport ended well, it was a short one but enjoyed the company of my cranky frens! :D wait till they see this. hahaha. Hmm.. apparently i've nth much to write.. i think i just crapped my way thru. (: so.... happy cny in advance*

P/S : a special magpieeeee*

2008-02-02T07:45:00.000-08:00

Furtive eyes made me hard to breathe.
At times, i would remove my dorky specs & walk with a blurry vision. Whereby, you can only see the one beside you. All you need is a familiar figure and nth else, cause that's the best comfort you can have. I've the urge to cover my ears & hold my hands in that position for the longest time. I wont want to turn a deaf ear to everything, i just needa is a silent moment.

2008-01-28T22:09:00.000-08:00

My blog has been dead for some time, so i guess it's time for me to update. (:
Lets see.. things have been going smoothly, except that the fact tt i'm getting stressed with the upcoming exams. Which caused me to do hilarious stuffs to entertain myself.
& yeah I shall not get influenced by my exceptionally adorable fren on my right, to be in a holiday mood.

PS:Someone is driving me insane. (DW)

2008-01-04T08:16:00.000-08:00

Hooray! Today's friday.. which means i've 2 days to chill & relax. (: My mind hasnt been functioning the way it suppose to. New & some old issues kept lingering in my mind, which causes me the inability to organise my thoughts.

1st Jan

2008-01-01T00:43:00.001-08:00

Happy new year ppl! 2008 marks a new beginning, basically a new chapter. As usual, i've a few resolutions, some are dragged on from last yr till this. Which includes 1. Slimming dwn. 2. Brush up on my english. 3. Be happy & bring happiness to ppl ard me. & this year, i've 7 additional resolutions from D to me..

2007 hasn't been a very smooth year for me & some of my close gfs. Hopefully, 2008 will be a better one. (:
& yar.. i've spent the last day of 2007 in a bizarre & unexpected way. I supposed it wasnt a good way to end 2007, but whatsoever, it's done alr.

P/s : it amazed me to know tt i have an impact on you.

2007-12-26T08:41:00.000-08:00

i received quite a few xmas presents this yr. (: tnk you

2007-12-19T08:18:00.000-08:00

It's funny how things progressed.. Whatever it is, i'm gg to relax abit till sch reopens.
I received the necklace which i've been eyeing for sometime. tnks*
(: Xmas is just ard the corner, & yar shopping has to be done.

2007-12-13T22:03:00.000-08:00

Maybe things will work out. We'll just wait & see.

2007-12-06T05:24:00.000-08:00

Term test's just days away.. & seriously i'm growing sideways, junk food piling up as
a source of motivation.
That goes without saying, i'll workout aft my TT. hey.. someone pls say tt u're convinced.

Wellwell.. nth major happened this week.. though my mood is somehow similar as a waveform.
Goes up to highest point & comes down the next sec..
But somehow, i'm quite contented with what i've right nw.. except tt the fact tt i
havent send my ipod for repair.. ahh..

& yar, I'm lookin forward to the festive seasons tt are approaching. xmas!
who wants to exchange presents? & perhaps we can organise a party or view the lightings at orchard road.
Gf said tt this yr's theme will be "fairy tales". Guess it would be an eye opener. uh huh..
& of cus the 31 dec, mark of the end of 2007. Fireworks here we come! ((:
LOL. ciaos~

2007-11-21T04:45:00.000-08:00

Women are always easy victims of love.
That's why sometimes i wish that i was a man. They're not as emotionally attached compared to women.
They dont get intrigued in a broken rs for too long.

One of my close fren once told me : People adore you nt becus u look like miss universe, they love you for who
you're. (:

2007-11-11T07:21:00.000-08:00

Recently, life has reached a different level for me.. Perhaps, becus of the enlightenment i've received from my current woes. I used to build my world ard him, but tt's history. Now tt i've learnt to pursue my desires, i feel alive. It sounds amusing, but when the world you once had comes to an end.. u start to build another(more likely a better one) (:
No doubt tt at times nostalgic feelings still triggers me, but compared to last time.. it's lesser. I started to mingle with people, whom hasnt cross my mind tt we would click. & when i realised tt we could, i came 2 a conclusion tt like tt.
Dreams, family & frens are my sole concern for now.
Lately, my dad has immense interest in documentary shows.. now i knw why i enjoyed watching
them too. You see.. it's in the blood.. lol. Ps, he went to rent "the planets" & he's watching it at this v moment.. ooo..

A few days back, we went to huiyi's chalet for her bday. It's just a pity tt we didnt get to talk to her much as she was busy with her family mbrs. But it's ok, tt's still another time!
Gf, u arent a bad host.. dont worry. Hope you like the presents we gave & rmb to read the bk.

I've sch tmr.. so ya ciaos~

2007-11-05T08:05:00.000-08:00

Who's the one who came into our lives & rob us of our innocence?
Have you ever had a feeling that you didnt belong here? A feeling which made u frozen & ponder
if u were born in a wrong planet? Familiar faces seemed so distant, so out of touch.
Beliefs you once hold, becomes a doubt. Too much were revealed, too much concerns were involved
& they werent worth at all. Just like an egg thrown towards a rock, ultimately it will break.

I've learnt a great lesson.

2007-11-04T05:33:00.000-08:00

The world isnt complicated, what's complex is basically us. It's our perspectives towards situations, & of cus our human nature tt is causing all these complications.

Sch's fine, days passed faster than i thought.

* Things' good when you're convinced.

2007-10-18T08:42:00.000-07:00

Tml will be the last day of work, so most likely it will be a slack one. That's a gd reason for me to stay up tonight..
isnt it? Besides, 2th sem will commence next week. Not to mention, our timetable is out.. it's definitely packed.
Hopefully, the 2 additional core subjects would nt bored me.
I guess it's time to hit the bks & get serious when the new sem starts. We've a goal to achieve & i've anticipated
upcoming stress ahead. It's hilarious to actually admit that, when i'm working.. i hoped tt i would be studying.
While i'm studying, i feel the reverse.
This weekend, i'm gg to do a last min shopping for sch.
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Random posts:
At times, i dont quite comprehend why would things change so drastically?
Some things which seemed so picture-perfect, is merely a facade in disguise.
It would only be exposed when someone lifts up the veil (it's just a matter of time)
It doesnt matters how you blogged it, what's more important is.. what's ur hidden agenda behind
all those words?

* I call out ur name, you dont hear a sound.

Money is an issue.

2007-10-16T08:55:00.000-07:00

The amount in my bank is literally decreasing. Money has always been an issue to me, i cant balance
between saving & spending. Money runs out faster than i thought, with the increases of the mrt fares & non-stop eating habit of mine.
I bought a top from forever21 today, during my 'break'. I was their first customer that used nets for payment.
How amusing huh.. cant imagine that i stepped into their shop in such an early hr.
Whatever it is, i'm glad tt i bought tt top i've been eying on for some time. Not exactly the same one, but a similar one.

Recommended song: Shayne ward - no you hang up.
After a long slumber, my ipod came back to life (a million tnkyou 2 my sis, cause she toggled my greenbaby for me)
Ciaos~ have to work tmr.

2007-10-08T06:47:00.000-07:00

I'm gg to close down this blog, once i get a new diary.
A personal space would be a better alternative, to pen down my thoughts. (like what i used to do)

Went out the other day with ryl, had a great time. :) & ya pepperlunch was a gd recommendation, delicious*
Initially, we went to wisma to get my top.. alas it was out of stock. :(
& gf, you're absolutely right.. the prints we took at the age of 15 in comparison with our current
pictures are of a great difference.
smiling & laughing from the heart seems so distant, a difficult task.
growing up means losing a little innocence here & thr.
Tt's an irrevocable fact & i hate it.

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Most of the time, training sessions end early.
Moral of all these? Work isnt tt bad, except that e fact we havent get our pay.

2007-10-05T09:13:00.000-07:00

One of my close gf said : what doesnt kill, makes you stronger.
I totally agree with her quote, it definitely make sense.

I was listening to a particular song & it constantly reminds me of him.
You guessed it right, the lyrics is the main culprit. Perhaps, it relates &
describe how it feels to get lost in e maze of love. I'm not referring to dignity or the reason to end a rs.
It just doesnt feel right - it's the pain that the party left behind, leaving you to
pick up the pieces.

Just like scattered glass, it pricks through your skin if you arent cautious.
A scar is imminent unless ur wound is properly healed..
So..
Does a ugly scar remind you that u actually got over sb, or the start of reminiscence?

*Everyone has a different pace of healing, so what's mine?

2007-10-03T05:16:00.000-07:00

met many nice ppl today.
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I forgot to blog something abt yesterday, that i wasnt v satisfied with.
I didnt knw that ppl can reserve seats by placing their packet of tissues on the table.
Hell.. they aren't considerate at all.
Might as well they write their names on the table for reservation, better off that way~

2007-10-02T06:38:00.000-07:00

Smiles plastered on their faces, laughters are heard from the water spray area.
That's the innocence of the kids & i'm envious of that. They sure can take ur woes from you,
well.. as least for a moment.
I saw this chubby boy playing in the area, he's super adorable.
I stood thr for quite some time to see them, actually many did.

Friday Night *

2007-09-28T09:07:00.000-07:00

Jess told me a piece of gd news, she said : 2 weeks down, 3 weeks to go. Well, i dont really consider tt as
one. Haha.. :D Pay day would be a better one!
I stared at the com for hrs & i'm starting to see stars.. Felt as if it has drained away my energy.

In spite of that,
today was a crazy friday! (: We did stupid things & laughed loudly in public. Couldnt control
ourselves due to our non-stop self-entertainment. Had dinner at foodrepublic & we ate a great deal.

Tmr's bbq @ ms cheng's hse,
& another program b4 it.

2007-09-26T07:11:00.000-07:00

Firstly, happy 18th bday to yueqin! (:

Today was a pair training session, some merchants was friendly.. apparently some wasnt.
We roamed at suntec & marina sq for e day, to conduct trainings.
Tmr will be a solo one, at a particular mall.. hope we'll meet obliging merchants.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sit at a corner & weep till ur tear glands dried up, then it's time 2 bid goodbye 2 your teary face.
But when will that happen?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sometimes, it's hard to actually explain to ourdearest that they matter. Cause mushy words are kept inside,
but it doesnt mean tt the party doesnt care. I know exactly how it feels to look helplessly at ur fren, without the ability to take away e pain from them. No words can exactly console them, being by their side is more than enough.
So pls dont ever think tt if u're no longer in this world, it would change into a more comforting zone.
Cause it wouldnt, it'll only add to our agony. Ps, this is for someone. (:\

You asked:
Would you prefer a fren that have the ability 2 make you laugh or a fren that can be thr 2 listen
2 ur sorrows?
I'll choose the person who can listen 2 my woes, cus by doing that.. he/she will eventually guide me to laugh wholeheartedly
one day.

2007-09-21T08:12:00.000-07:00

I detest the feelin of wakin up in e early morning on weekdays. Lifting up my heavy eyelids & draggin myself to work. Despite i would slp for at least 8hrs++ every workin nyt.
My gf cited that i'm no different from a old lady. Haha.. hey what's wrong with sleeping at 10.30 on weekdays nyt?
&& u'll have no idea how glad am i to knw that tmr is sat!

A splitting image indeed, well sometimes i see myself in you. However, you're far better than me..
i'm actually envious of you.. cus u hid ur feelings so impeccably.

Random Posts:
Sometimes, when u peer into the mirror.. u'll have this sudden impulse to smash it. But i've no idea what caused that mentality?
Is it becus of the ugly looking mirror or do you hate the reflection you see inside?

Some particular person myt mean a lot to you, but alas u mean nth to him.
You've no intention to tell the whole world hw u're feeling, but somehow thru ur eyes the msg is passed on.

2007-09-19T05:48:00.000-07:00

one wish will do.

2007-09-15T20:56:00.000-07:00

I didnt knw i've patience to wait for a whole 1.5 hrs. haha. But it'll be my 1st & last tym.. cus i couldnt help but
doze off on the couch.

Alryt, one more day to work. No more rottin at hm, wild thoughts or any kind.
Oh btw, i want to watch the invasion.. who wants to watch with me? :D

Went to catch "evan almighty" with ryl & yq yesterday. Guitar session at ryl's place was the next.
We tried to visualise our lives 5 yrs down the road.. our dreams etc. It's hard to picture our lives by then, our jobs, our martial status. lol.

I'm elated yet disconcerted abt our impending future. Our opening sentence to break the ice. (: I cant wait!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One of my gf phoned me a moment ago, we chatted abt a particular issue. Not gg to blog what we exactly spoke over the phone, but i guess we yet to see that. Tt's why we/i'm not convinced. But who cares.. lol. ok who am i tryin to kid? (:
&& wish us gd luck on the 1st day of work. tata*

2007-09-13T07:53:00.000-07:00

Went to kbox today & i did lots of recording of my frens' singing. :D
I found a job & will be working from next mon onwards till the last week b4 sch reopens.
& i'll only be available aft 6 during weekdays. (:
I burnt my holidays alryt, but it's the money tt kept my momentum gg.

Watched 1408 with trina, it was a bizarre movie. Wasnt as terrifying as i expect it to be.

*I dont want to look into the crowd, searching for your face.
snip off all those memories & throw them away.

2007-09-06T20:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a exhausting day. Head to the gym with sherlyn.
We walked from tamp to bedok, & in the midst of our journey.. we got chase by 2 stray dogs.
I shrieked when they came so near us. Thank god we didnt end up in changi hospital. :D
Not to mention, we took close to an hr to walk from tamp to bedok under the scorchin sun.

Met lynn & her sis for lunch, then went to ikea.

2007-09-03T01:48:00.001-07:00

I got a haircut & it looks really short. ha.

2007-09-01T01:54:00.000-07:00

Happy teachers' day! (:
Happy belated 18th bday to bradley & sam*
Most of the 5ns went back to sch for teachers' day. We went around & took pics with teachers and our fellow classmates. It was an awesome day! 19 of us went to town. Some played pool, while we sat thr & daze. haha.
Marina sq was the next destination, had our dinner & aftermath went to drink.
We spent the rest of our day taking pics, which caused ryl's camera's batt to run dry. heh.. However, it was an lethargic day caused we spent more than 12hrs outside.

I love my gfs & dudes. we had lotas of fun didnt we? (:
It's always nice to know that i've friends of the same interest as me. (:

* Sometimes, things get so complex that i cant seem to visualize or differentiate.

2007-08-29T08:34:00.000-07:00

Woohoo!
Sem exams are over! 3 cheers!! I'm gonna have fun and enjoy my teenage years.
Things i'm gg to do for the long vacation:
1. slim down (as usual)
2. kickboxin with trina
3. read novels
4. hang out with my click
5. change the clothes in wardrobe

1 more day and we'll be headin back to tpss to see teachers who once taught us.
I think this gathering will be a big one. (:

Ps: I've changed my email, add me in msn : xsweetalley@hotmail.com

Replies:
Shangfen: of cus i rmb you. (: hw's life? hehe.
Hy: haha.. yeah baby lets burn the books. when can u go out?

2007-08-27T05:06:00.000-07:00

1 more paper to go. Gd news eh. (:
I saw dar today, miss her lots.

Mind games are just playing us out & i had enough.
That's the end of it; full stop.

2007-08-24T08:30:00.000-07:00

I need a place to rest my case, vent all my anger. Perhaps, throw a glass across the room and scream my lungs out. Recently, my sch books had become loathesome to me.. & i feel lk burning them.. i've no idea why.

Just some random thoughts, inspired by trina. (:

We heard similar endings over & over.
Dont try to convince us and leave like that.
Wake up another day and say that you no longer care.
Act as if nth has happened & leave us hangin thr.
Pickin up the pieces you left behind. Holdin on as the memories die.
Well.. at least we've learnt not to step across that line.
never again.

Replies :
Seth: sure sure, i've lotas of qs to ask you abt it. (: see when u're free!
Hy, Qy: I'll relink v soon. Hhe.
Yulin: haha.. yah la. but nvm.. he told me why he was laughing.
Trina: you're missed too. i miss everyone. (: you knw what i mean. lol. i just cant stop link-ing.
John: tnks for the compliment, but i wasnt tt gd aft all.

Random Post

2007-08-14T04:38:00.000-07:00

Today is the day i've been anticipating.. my first solo presentation. i swear i was so fretful abt the whole thing, that i couldnt slp well last nyt. Haha.. yah, i know it sounds absurd.
We had to present our slides infront of the LT, in our formal wear. But.. i'm glad tt everything went well. (:

* I'll avoid the q as long as i can.

2007-08-08T05:44:00.000-07:00

It's been days since i last blogged. Today aft sch, ben, yulin, rx & i went to queue for Nicholas Zhang mini performance's complimentary tickets. I came to realise that he has tons of avid fans. Cause the queue is freaky long, & yah.. u guessed it right.. in e end, we didnt manage to get the tickets.

Then, we went to watch 'alone'. The distorted, pale and creepy faces scared the wits outta me. But anw, I think i spent half of the time, covering my ears & eating nachos. Whatever~ lol.

Hmm.. i decided to stop my idiotic habit and post something less depressing. ;D good news uh!
Ooo woo..

Probably hitting the mall with ryl tmr.. It's Singapore's bday! A good reason to celebrate & go out. Ahaha. (:

Replies:
Honey: yah, he sure is referring to "titanic" dialog. haha.. my holidays are coming! we can go out soon.
Tricia: girl! how u know i've a blog? Tnks for the wishes. hehe.. meet up soon!
Yulin: I love the present. tnk you. hehe.. A sweet waterball. (:
Dar: Tnks sweets! Btw, i realised tt it's been years since i saw u.
Christabel: Of cause i rmb you! (; tnks for the wishes. tkcare girl * Cya in sch.
Gen: Heh.. tnks sweets.
Ben: Hahha.. tnks ben! (:

2007-07-28T10:08:00.000-07:00

I didnt expect Shawn, Daniel & Nicola to join us. It was a pleasant surprise. (: In the midst of our dinner at Billybombers, we heard the sound of fireworks.
The location outside Bb, is an excellent place to view those beautiful fireworks. & we were glad to get a glimpse. Though, it triggers memories of mine.

We went to sit in the open outside esplanade.. we drank and they took out sparks sticks.
I really love those sparks sticks, it looked lk shooting stars. Lovely ~' The "be happy"

I couldnt control my emotions, despite all those sweet stuffs u guys did for me. I'm really thankful to u guys, and i hoped tt i didnt spoil the ambience.
They bought me an acoustic guitar (sth i always wanted), a bday cake and godiva chocolates.
&& tnks sweets for being thr when i needed sb the most. You guys are the best frens i ever had.

My bday celebration ended well with my frens : Trina, Ryl, Athena, Nicola, Cz, Shawn, Zt, Seth & Daniel.

* I'm sober, but i hope tt i was drunk. I'm still miss you like day 1, but one day i wont anymore.
Tnks for cryin with me, embracing me & tellin me i'll see a rainbow one day.
" for layin next to me, when my world came crashing dwn.

2007-07-27T02:20:00.001-07:00

i saw visions of me breakin down, screaming for help.

one moment, i feel that i'm alright. the next, i felt lk crying.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I closed my eyes & tried to get some slp with my wet hair.
I tried to put everything off my mind, but when i woke up.. i had a severe headache.
i felt as if the walls ard me are collapsing, it just didnt feel right at all.

A moment later..
My cellphone rang, so did the doorbell. I'd broke into tears - tears of joy when i saw my besties holding
a cake as they sung a bday song to me. I didnt expect them to surprise me. I really appreciate what they've done for me.

(: Late at night, we went to drink at the void deck.

2007-07-26T04:32:00.000-07:00

* you used to make funny expression tt made me laugh.
we used to talk on the phone for hrs.
you used to walk me home.
i'm so used to seeing your face, your signature gestures, every little sound u made.
now tt it's over, i'm trying to get used to the fact that

you'll no longer be the one.

* i gave you my heart, the very day i'm with you.
to date, my heart is still with you. i'm waitin patiently for it's return
- to me, the rightful owner.

i miss you, like always.

2007-07-23T18:04:00.000-07:00

Came back from my dad's company's family day - 3days 2 nights cruise. They had many facilities such as casino, arcade, swimmin pool, sauna etc. I only get a glimpse of the casino, as i've not reach the legal age to enter.

Basically, i spent my 3days 2 nights indulging myself with their buffets. They served breakfast, afternoon tea, dinner & supper. Imagine how much i ate. Haha..
The cruise doesnt have a destination, they simply sail to the open sea. It's really scary to look down from the top deck. It feels as if you're lost ur sense of direction, cause all u can see is the bottomless sea. - nothing more.

My dad was joking with his colleague, & when i heard it, I was lk what the heck. Haha.. Guess what he said?
"You jump, i jump" & then they burst into laughters. (-_-")
I'll post some pics when i'm free! Heh..

We reached sg ard 12 noon.
That particular night, i went to have my dinner opp my pri sch with my besties.

Seth: Hi! haha.. meet up soon yeah?
Shawn: Thnk you! i didnt expect you to find ur way here. heh.. Tkcare dude!
Yq: Why do i've to wait for a mth for u to link me? lol. update ur blog girl!
Qy: Ya.. probably we can have lunch in sch? see when u're free.. can ask cheryl along. (:

Hooray! my 18th Bday is 6days away. ((:

* When it's all said and done, thr's nth you can do.
I'm gonna to keep on fighting, till i get out of ur clutch.

2007-07-19T03:56:00.000-07:00

I'm totally obsessed with gwen stefani's song - 4 in the morning.

2007-07-16T06:18:00.000-07:00

Friday - Went swimming with cz, alan & ryl. It is a great way to slim down as it takes ample stamina to finish a few laps. We should do this more often. Yeah? :D
Sat - Watched harry potter. It wasnt as impressive as i thought it would be. But i enjoyed the whole film though.

My dad bought me a ipod mp3 player in advance for my bday. Thanks daddy.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* It's definitely beyond what you can visualise or sense. It isnt what you reckon.
So pls dont assume, cause u got it all wrong.

2007-07-14T02:16:00.000-07:00

will be gg out in a few mins. things are gettin out of control. i simply dont have a clue why.

2007-07-10T05:33:00.000-07:00

I wish... *

Went over cheryl's hse last sat with nicola, seth. I'm really impressed how seth sang and played his guitar. It was amazing! guitar simply rocks.. the melody, tempo.. everything abt it. ;D

I sent my hp for repair, my lcd screen broke when i dropped it. Hopefully, it can be fix.
I'm startin to see a glimpse of light.. one day everything will come to a closure. It'll, i believe.
I'm grateful to ppl ard me who brought joy and laughters into my life. It felt as if i've not lost anyone in particular.

Behind closed doors, everyone has their own sorrows.. pain tt no one can totally penetrate.
Some people chose to fake a smile and continue life tt way. While others chose to cry
out loud, to reduce the agony they're feelin. Whatever your choice is, thr's nth to be afraid of.
Cause that's how you move on.. (:

Replies to tag *

Pebbles: hiya sweets!
Ryl: haha.. yah. i'm super free you knw?
Yulin: sure sure. when ur back recovers. (: tehe.
John: i didnt knw tt you'll jog. lol.
Yeerui: we'll hit the gym one day. i promise.. u dont have to wait for 2yrs. (:
Cyn: i'll! tnk you so much. you too.. pls tk gd care of urself. cause we care. ;)

2007-07-06T01:57:00.000-07:00

1 week down, 6 weeks more to go. Hooray! haha.. Alry, i've to admit sch isnt tt bad aft all. (;

I'm determined to burn fats of mine, b4 my 18th bday. This time i wont back out nor be disheartened. Ryl, it's time for us to work out & swim tgt. (:
I want to get a novel - The thirteenth tale.

* I kept the memories we had, in a closet closest to my heart.
I tried to conceal how i'm feelin, i thought tt i did it so impeccably that no one
can sense it. But tt was just my conjecture.
Someday, everything will falls back to where it suppose to be. (:

2007-07-02T06:09:00.000-07:00

Daily life can seem all too drab and unexciting. Living itself can sometimes seem a strain, and few of us realistically expect what joy we feel to last forever. But when we fall in love, life seems filled with drama and excitement. We feel like the leading character in a novel. But, if you get lost in love just because you are bored, and consequently veer from the path you should be following, then love is nothing more than escapism. What you are doing is retreating into a dream world, believing that what is only an illusion is actually real.

Check this quote out. (:

2007-06-30T05:57:00.000-07:00

A heartfelt thank-you to those who offered their condolences.
To trina & ryl : tnks girls for the carrot-cake & tnks for attending the wake.
To john & rx : tnks for coming dwn today. Had a nice conversation with you guys.

I'm not important to you, even as a friend.
It amounts to nothing in the end.
I'm going to do anything to lessen the pain.
I broke the glass bottles u gave, because whatever is written by you is broken.

I want to scream!
I want to get away from all this shit.

I hope things will get better before my 18th bday. Someone asked what i want for my big day..
Well.. I just want to be happy.

Life's a bitch. Alright.. I know i'm in a better state compared to many people out there. I'm considered forunate to a certain extent.. but sometimes i cant help but swear & curse. Heh.. pardon me.

Seeing double.

2007-06-29T02:19:00.000-07:00

Just another depressing week.. my grandpa passed away yesterday. He passed away not because of old age, but cancer. It's really traumatise me to know that cancerous tumour took the lives of my grandpas & grandmas. Life is unpredictable, anything can happen the next min. We didnt expect him to be gone, so soon.. it's too abrupt.. but i'm glad to know that he wasnt in pain, when he went to heaven.

My dearest grandpa - r.i.p.

To ryl : I hope that one day we'll be able to see the rainbow. (: sunshine aft the rain.

Sometimes, when you laugh.
It doesnt mean that you're over the moon.
Sometimes, you dont cry.
It doesnt mean that you're strong.
Sometimes, you dont grumble.
It doesnt mean that you're contented.
Sometimes, you feel like dying.
It doesnt mean that you can.

To trina : Rmb banana, i cant take another blow for the time being.

The short conversation ryl & i had with mr sharil affected us.. but somehow it affected ryl even more. Whatever it is, we've to accept that what we've heard.. might be the fact. A reality we've to face it, like it or not. One week down, 7 weeks to go ---- then.. long vacation here i come! (:

Cant wait to meet up with the girls next week! (:

2007-06-23T09:54:00.001-07:00

A day out with ryl, seth & cz. Catched nancy drew, it was a awesome film. Had dinner at pastamania & sat at op and have our usual chats.

I want to get a guitar.
((:

It's funny when two out of love person try to console e/o.. becus it's gettin' no where.

2007-06-22T05:58:00.000-07:00

frog, i miss you.

2007-06-21T02:05:00.000-07:00

It's has been days since i last blogged. I've been going out practically everyday. with different combination daily, monday - cheryl, trina & cz. tuesday - shi ying. wednesday - junwei & tricia. thursday - cynthia, cheryl & athena. tmr - jessica. Thanks peeps who accompanied me through the week.

Sch's starting next week. damn it.. but perhaps it isnt tt bad? Haha.. since my thoughts will run wild when i'm hm alone.

I think i desperately need to get a new hp ear pierce, there's sth wrong with the connection.

I dont wana describe how i'm feeling right now. Lets hope, one day.. just one day.. everything will be fine.
((:

2007-06-17T21:15:00.000-07:00

I learnt alot from this failed r/s, be it gd or bad. (:

I really appreciate my gfs, friends, loved ones who gave me advises, drink with me & consoled me.
I dont deny that whenever i think of you, i would question what caused us to be like tt. However, i realised u're right, good things come to an end. I cant rely on you forever. You told me, i've to look at things at a different angle.. then i'll understand everything happens for a reason.

I'm trying my best to pick myself up & live for myself. ((:

I love you guys! (:

2007-06-16T19:30:00.000-07:00

A part of me died when you left.
Yesterday, in the middle of the night i woke up crying. I felt as if i had a nightmare, but i wasnt.. it's the reality.

2007-06-16T04:18:00.000-07:00

I just want to be happy.

We're still friends no matter what. (:

2007-06-15T18:19:00.000-07:00

I wish that you're here with me this very moment, but it wont happen. I tried to convince myself that u once loved me, but i failed. I want to keep those sweet memories we had tgt, but i wont.
I want to move on with my life w/o you, & i will. I wont dwell on the past, becus you wont.

You treated it as if nth happened.. Oh well.. perhaps i mean nth to you. It really hurts to know tt, but it's the fact & i've to accept it.
You walked off, without looking back. I dont know what caused you to be so ignorant.
I didnt know our love was that fragile. I didnt know u can just moved on within 1day. ha.

I want to thank peeps at the yesterday's bbq, gfs, bfs who consoled me.. Thanks for being there, i'll try to be strong. && gfs whom i talked to on the phone. You're guys are really great! >.<

2007-06-14T02:18:00.000-07:00

It's over between us.
your name brings tears in my eyes.

imu, this i confess.
god, pls take the pain away.

2007-06-12T19:03:00.000-07:00

I dont know.
Maybe it's too late for regrets.
Love?
Maybe it doesnt matters anymore.

2007-06-09T19:52:00.000-07:00

I didnt realise that u're the one.
I didnt realise what u did, what u said was from your heart.
I didnt realise that i wasnt understanding at all.
I didnt realise that the problem lies with me.

I'm sorry for being unreasonable, paranoid, demanding. I didnt see that you gave in to whatever nonsense i've said. Now i see it, and i'm glad it's not too late to salvage everything.

2007-06-08T03:41:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, i really have no idea what i want. No idea what you want. Perhaps we're really two poles apart.. is it a wrong decision from the start?
There's so many things i want to say to you, but whr should i start?

2007-06-06T19:30:00.000-07:00

Just finish watching 'The new detectives' on discovery ch.. 1 husband tried to poison his wife with poison rat, while the other killed her wife & depicted that it was suicide. I was wondering.. how can they be so heartless/ cold-blooded.. it really creeps me out. But, justice is done.. both men were sentenced to life time prisonment. Well.. serve them right. (:

Gg back to tpss to collect 'o' cert with yeerui, soofang & yueqin. I miss 5ns..

My 1st post.

2007-06-06T06:56:00.001-07:00

Had a gathering with soofang, sherlyn, trina, junwei, jierui, sam & jingling. We went to seoul garden for lunch and ate for hours. & i mean hours.. we sat there & kept eating..
Talking abt the food, i really loathe the squid there.. They didnt clear the "soft bone" & it's 'ink' & it's damn digusting..

Man.. you can see the black 'ink' oozing out of the squid. It really makes me lose my appetite.
But it was great hanging out with them.. They simply rock! (:

I was talking to sherlyn and i realised tt what she said is true.. One must learn how to take and let go when it comes to r/s. Well.. i know it isnt that simple.. whatever happens life has to go on. Ok no.. i'm not out of love. :D

I'm pleased to say that i'm offically 'free' from sch for these 2 weeks! Hahaa.. life cant get any better than this ~ Hooray!